You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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