The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
