Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He better not be in your backpack
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
