Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
