the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
