I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
