3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize