while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
