I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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