Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Im part way to drunk.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
There's even glitter on my cock...
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