you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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