You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
