I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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