is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
