You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
