so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
