Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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