In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
