I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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