I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I should be sponsored by Trojan
it was like eating out sand paper
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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