using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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