i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
