I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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