Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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