last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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