i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
