I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
