am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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