I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
