After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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