i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Randomize
