Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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