so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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