Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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