Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
