his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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