She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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