hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
