he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
