if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
