loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have feelings that need drinking.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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