This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
