Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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