Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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