It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
