I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
