I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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