i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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