y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
