I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
They took my balls.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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