Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
