Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
