She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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