This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm too high and old for this...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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