i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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