She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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