I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
