THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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