I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Randomize
