he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
