singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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