He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize