She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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