we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
