I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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