3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
