we're blogging at a bar
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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